A Year in Review

So much has happened in 2015 to recount all the details. But I would like to go over some highlights. If I don’t mention something, it’s not because it’s not important to me.

I had just come back from spending Christmas in Texas. There were also some family weddings going on at the time. This was my first time in 3 years spending it with my family. I usually had the pleasure of spending it with my aunt and her family in Blackfoot.

I came back to Rexburg and asked this swell gal out for a date for New Year’s Eve. She was kind enough to come with me and even go bowling. I rather like bowling, even if I’m not that good. Found out later it’s not her favorite activity. But the place was closing and then we just went somewhere and talked til about 1am. She is a very special lady to me, even today. A relationship ensued and I grew a bit in that capacity. It was different, exhilarating, fun, and challenging. I am grateful to have had this experience and that we are able to still be friends today. I know that I can only expect great things from her. She is bound for greatness, and with God on her side, she’s going to get there.

God has a funny way of putting people into my life right when I need them. This year was no different. I had one of my bestest friend be placed not only in two of my classes but also in my ward. God knew that I needed a positive influence in my life, who understands me and who was not afraid of being real with me. She would tell me it as it is, and I always knew it was out of love. And I got to become comfortable doing it in return. We had so many adventures it’s ridiculous and would take too much to recount. It’s interesting how it can take so long to express what a moment means to you. You have to describe the events and then add your personal narrative. But let it suffice to say that I love her and know that we will be part of each others lives forever.

I was lucky to have my best friend that I made during my internship move to Rexburg and attend BYU-I. He was, and always is a breath of fresh air. I love him so much. It helps that he served his mission in Russia and that we can have our conversations in both languages. It came in handy multiple of times. (When I came out to him, it was in Russian, because I didn’t want the other present company to know yet.) He was nice enough to make time for me even with his own personal busy schedule. Words cannot express what this kid means to me. He was also someone that God put in my life, and I believe it is to be for life and eternity.

Mt roommates were good this year. I have my few that I hang out with, even after graduating and moving out I spent a good deal of time at their place. We too had many adventures. From watching Netflix and movies together, to disc golfing, to kayaking in Island Park, to game nights on Sunday, to just being us, I love these guys. It was fun playing matchmaker with one of them and attending his wedding this past month. It was fun having them to turn to for counsel and advice. It was good to have one or another to escape with. Having one indulge me to go to IF and take pics of historical buildings. To be myself and be accepted of them. I was apprehensive about coming out to them, but I did and they love me even still. I have been blessed with such great role models in my daily life. These men are so good to me, and still are!

I had the blessed and awesome experience to be a temple worker in the Rexburg Idaho Temple. I gained a greater appreciation of the work of the Lord and a better understanding of the ordinances. I came to love the people that I worked with, but also the people that I served. I know that this work is true.

I graduated this year! I have had many a great professors. It was a great last semester. I’m glad it’s done, though. It was time and I did it.

I also finished my 3.5 year career with Deseret Book. That experienced has helped me so much. I have been able to strengthen my testimony while working there. I have also been able to make friends, who feel like family, that I hope to keep forever. I know some of them will. I had grown close to my manager and was sad to see him leave before me, but I know the new manager is going to do a marvelous job. She is what Rexburg needs.

Probably one of the scariest points was my coming out about my same gender attraction post on Facebook at the end of July. That was the last thing and the furthest thing that I wanted to do in my mind. But I woke up one day and got the strongest impression that it was time to tell the “world”. I had told family and friends, like the kid in Russian, my roommates, close friends, about 20 people were how many knew for sure. I always assumed everyone guessed it, but with this post I took all doubt away. I figured it was better to be understood and help people whether they struggle with this or know people who struggle with this. So far I have only received love and support. It has also helped me be more comfortable being myself around others. God works in mysterious ways.

I moved home this year. It has been quite the transition. It took me back to the isolation that I experienced so prevalently in my teenage years. I was active in church and high school, but when I wasn’t there I was at home. This pattern seemed to take form again. I had church, school, and work, and when I wasn’t there I was home. My home is not a bad place. It is quite the haven, but I need interaction with peers. That is a tough thing for me, being an introvert, and not outgoing. I also feel like I can tend to force myself into the lives of others, so I wait for invitations that don’t come. I have learned that if I want to hang out with people that I, myself, need to extend invitations, and let them be accepted or not.

I am learning a lot about myself. I am the one who determines if I am happy. I can’t rely on others. It’s between my God and me. In Him I can find peace and happiness. I am growing closer to Him and finding out that He is always right. I just need to be humble enough to choose His path. I’m not saying that I don’t need other people in my life, but it’s quite the other way around. But I shouldn’t depend whether I am happy based on my acceptance by others.

I am working on making friends here. And God has blessed me with some good ones.

The constant things in my life are change, time moving forward, and my God. I am excited for 2016. It’s going to be a good year.

I guess you could say I have been changed for good!

God Bless! Until Next Time!