The Law of Chastity Part 1

This is a topic that has come to have a taboo connotation in the Church. Well at least with my generation. So many 5^th Sundays with the Bishop have been spent on this. There was one Bishop where he didn’t do it one semester and those issues popped up so he swore to preaching it every semester from then on. I happened to be out of the state for the semester that made him come to that conclusion, so it wasn’t me!

This also seems to be the topic that most people in EQ (Elders Quorum) dread when they are assigned to teach it. Because of this we just get a glossed over lesson that doesn’t really do anything for the class except remind us how awkward we make this topic.

When did this topic become so taboo? Or why is it so taboo?

The Law of Chastity, especially from a single perspective, can seem like a big list of DON’Ts. (Or a better way to look at it is NOT YET!) But with the DON’T outlook, these things become a thing of shame. What happens since I didn’t keep the Law of Chastity? What are others going to think? What will my Bishop think if I tell him?! (Disclaimer: You will probably never do anything that will shock your bishop. He is there to help you through the repentance process, but you have to initiate it yourself. Or it’s better if you initiate this process yourself. A forced confession is never good.) I haven’t always have had the best relationships with all of my bishops. Some were much easier to bond with than others. But God knows us and will give us the bishop we need at that time, whether you agree with the man or not. He is after all a MAN, trying to do the best he can. It doesn’t change the fact that God called him. But I digress.

There is a sense of shame attached with breaking the Law of Chastity. And I mean in any degree. There is a shame and fear that comes upon the person, this coming from the adversary, and they want to hide what they did. They hide it from the parents and from their bishops. In most cases they also keep it from their peers and keep it down and quiet.

Some of the bigger issues that pop up, besides fornication, with the Law of Chastity are pornography and masturbation. (I will focus more on pornography in this post than masturbation) These are vulgar words. There is no doubt about that. I forget what it is called, but there is a word for a word’s pronunciation being as horrible as the definition. [English majors help me out.] (Another example of this is barf. The sound that word produces matches its meaning.) But pornography and masturbation are just such words. Trying to use substitution words for these things can and will create confusion. Please just call it what it is so we can all be on the same page. Don’t try using other terms when trying to teach about it. And there are many other ways to say these things. Pornography and masturbation are usually coupled together, but don’t have to be. Pornography has been a topic preached in General Conference for as long as I can remember. And it appears before then, as I have read back into past General Conferences.

President Gordon B. Hinckley warned:

“You live in a world of terrible temptations. Pornography, with its sleazy filth, sweeps over the earth like a horrible, engulfing tide. It is poison. Do not watch it or read it. It will destroy you if you do. It will take from you your self-respect. It will rob you of a sense of the beauties of life. It will tear you down and pull you into a slough of evil thoughts and possibly of evil actions. Stay away from it. Shun it as you would a foul disease, for it is just as deadly. Be virtuous in thought and in deed. God has planted in you, for a purpose, a divine urge which may be easily subverted to evil and destructive ends.” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1997, 71–72; or Ensign, Nov. 1997, 51).

It is an evil that has affected more lives than any of us can know. There have been studies about how early in life kids are exposed to such material. The fact that such a study could produce numbers is horrifying. It is a problem that isn’t going to just go away by itself. It is going to get much worse. But we can safeguard our homes so that nothing impure enters in. Easier said than done, I know, but it is something that we need to be prepared for. And this is not just a task for mothers and wives. While pornography tends to be associated with male users, women have fallen prey to these kind of addictions. It will take a concerted effort on all fronts. Both Husband and Wife, Mother and Father should work towards keeping this from entering their house to protect each other and their children.

There is evidence that pornography acts like a drug and effects the brain as such. There are movements and programs like Fight the New Drug and Restoring Minds Consulting LLC. They are devoted to bringing to light the evils of pornography, the damage it can have on relationships, and how to repair or avoid it. There is a program called Sons of Helaman- Eternal Warriors which focuses on how to help youth who have encounter this and want to break those chains. They also have a book called “Like Dragons They Did Fight”. Working in Deseret Book I saw many books on this subject. One such that was often purchased and recommended by bishops was “He Restoreth My Soul- Understanding and Breaking the Chemical and Spiritual Chains of Pornography through the Atonement of Jesus Christ” by John Hilton. I am not trying to push any of these programs or products, but want people to be award that the resources are out there.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has also realized the power that this form of media has on the lives of people. It is one of the many facets of its Addiction Recovery Program. It is something that is not easy to overcome. The resources and materials are easy to access. The Church has many meetings in cities all around the country, or online meetings if in person is too much, and even podcast versions if the online/ phone ones are too much.

What I hope someday is that people can be able to speak about these issues without anyone cringing. Yes they are unsavory, but they are real. People deal with them. More people than you think. I am not asking that we condone it, but that we are understanding and show an increase of love for the person. We are all sinners and trying to become perfect in Christ. We also all fall short. Be kind to one another. Just because one man’s sins are different than yours doesn’t give you the right to cast stones. Avoiding a subject never solved anything. I know that these subjects have caused great pains to many people, so discretion is important. But need we tip toe around these topics forever?

These are just some of my opinions on this subject, which there are many, but I’ll save those for other posts.

God Bless! Until Next Time!

More personal than usual.

This week has been a bit of a tough one. I have found a new low that I have never experienced before. It’s tough feeling so weak and vulnerable when I just want to be doing well and carry on.

(Disclaimer: I often answer “Doing well” when I am asked “How I am doing?” because I am generally doing well. But this is also my answer if I don’t think the person asking really wants to know. If I can tell that you are sincerely interested, I will open up. If it’s just pleasantries, “Doing well” does just fine. I am generally always willing to listen to people and how they are doing. But sometimes it’s just small talk. In my job I try to follow the Eliza Doolittle protocol and stick to people’s health and the weather. This can stem to my pleasantries in public, since I am not a very social person generally.)

Moroni while transcribing the Book of Ether was told by the Lord that:

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. (Ether 12:27)

I have often found comfort in this verse and have had it quoted to me on multiple occasions. But this past week all I could come away with was the question “WHY?” Why did God give me this weakness when it often feels too great to bear? I have felt tired of pressing on with this burden. I am a stubborn person and am sometimes unwilling to receive help. This can apply to help from anyone, even God. I have the idea that if I can do it by myself that I will prove to be stronger than I am. That my weaknesses, especially my SGA, will not define me.

There are times that I don’t feel worthy to take the yoke of the Savior upon me because my will and desires are not in line with His. Humility is one thing that I have an extremely hard time having. To put my things aside to accept something else is hard. I think that one of the many reasons why I have my new calling is to help me love people better. Sometimes that is just plain hard, especially when we don’t see eye to eye. I am not sure why, but assertive people intimidate me. And I find it hard to like/ deal/ love them. But I know that God wants me to become a better person. I just have to be smart enough to humble myself and let that happen.

I am working on trying to reach out when I am struggling. That is something that takes a lot for me to do, because I try to be so independent. But I have recently found that I have many friends on my side who want me to succeed and are willing to help me in any way they can. I’m still not sure on how they can help me, but it is enough for them to know that I am going through things. I am always open to suggestions and opinions on how I can improve, but I am not so good on knowing what I specifically need or how to ask for it. But I appreciate that people are willing to help. I appreciate the support. It makes times like these easier to bear.

But I know that true relief comes when I take my burdens to the Lord and accept His will and way. It’s a daily process and a daily decision. May I ever be willing to choose it and know how to is my constant prayer.

God Bless! Until Next Time!

A Personal Liberty Jail

The paradoxical name of Liberty Jail is well known to many Latter-day Saints, especially those in America. This was a place that would forever change the ministry of the Prophet Joseph Smith.

I was told in my Pearl of Great Price class at BYU-I by Br. Gardner that if we are wanting celestial glory to be ours then it would only make sense and can only come by enduring celestial trials and tribulations. He then went on and drew a series of peaks and troughs on the board. The deeper the trough, the higher the peak.

Liberty Jail was Joseph Smith’s celestial trial. Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, “Yet, as with all true disciples, Joseph went through a process of proving, reproving, and improving, while simultaneously serving as the human conduit through whom God chose to give his word to this generation.” (A Choice Seer, August Ensign 1986) Elder B.H. Roberts called Liberty Jail the Prophet’s “prison temple.” (B. H. Roberts, A Comprehensive History of the Church, 1:526.)

The Prophet Joseph Smith said of himself: “I never told you I was perfect, but there is no error in the revelations which I have taught you.” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, comp. Joseph Fielding Smith, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1972, p. 368.) This is important to remember. It also makes his vulnerability made known in his works that much more significant.

In section 121 of the Doctrine and Covenants he wrote:

1 O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?

2 How long shall thy hand be stayed, and thine eye, yea thy pure eye, behold from the eternal heavens the wrongs of thy people and of thy servants, and thine ear be penetrated with their cries?

3 Yea, O Lord, how long shall they suffer these wrongs and unlawful oppressions, before thine heart shall be softened toward them, and thy bowels be moved with compassion toward them?

4 O Lord God Almighty, maker of heaven, earth, and seas, and of all things that in them are, and who controllest and subjectest the devil, and the dark and benighted dominion of Sheol—stretch forth thy hand; let thine eye pierce; let thy pavilion be taken up; let thy hiding place no longer be covered; let thine ear be inclined; let thine heart be softened, and thy bowels moved with compassion toward us.

5 Let thine anger be kindled against our enemies; and, in the fury of thine heart, with thy sword avenge us of our wrongs.

6 Remember thy suffering saints, O our God; and thy servants will rejoice in thy name forever.

This portion of the section is very reminiscent of the Psalms of David. But it speaks truth and volumes of how he was feeling in Liberty Jail. There have been many times in my own life where I have felt, not really abandoned, but unheeded or unheard of the Lord. I would plead for days and weeks, sometimes months with petitions. Some of them having to deal with my same gender attraction, but other things, that I may have some sort of direction or anything in my life to grow closer to my Heavenly Father who sent me to this earth at this time. I am not trying to compare my life to that of Joseph Smith’s, but I do go through my own trials day by day and some seem too hard to bear.

But the answer which the Lord gives him has brought comfort to many:

7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.

9 Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.

10 Thou art not yet as Job; thy friends do not contend against thee, neither charge thee with transgression, as they did Job.

There are multiple things in here that bring me comfort.

“Peace be unto thy soul.” God wants us to have peace. He wishes it, and I bet He even prays for it. He cares about us and wants only the best for us. We just have to turn to Him and choose His path. We have to prove, reprove, and improve to find peace.

“Thine afflictions shall be but for a small moment.” These things won’t be with us for always. Another scripture that comes to mind is, “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13) God is ever mindful of us and our situations. Of this I am sure.

“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.” We’ve got this! And the blessings that will come for doing so will be innumerable. This is, of course, all in the Lord’s timing.

“Thy friends do stand by thee.” I have often felt lonely recently. But I have found out that as I humble myself and reach out that there is a huge support system out there for me. My friends do stand by me and love me and want only the best for me. They want me to improve, and for the most part are willing to help me improve!

“Thou are not as Job.” Things aren’t that bad yet. They could always be worse! Always look on the bright side of life.

God Bless! Until Next Time!