This is a topic that has come to
have a taboo connotation in the Church. Well at least with my generation. So
many 5th Sundays with the Bishop have been spent on this. There was
one Bishop where he didn’t do it one semester and those issues popped up so he
swore to preaching it every semester from then on. I happened to be out of the
state for the semester that made him come to that conclusion, so it wasn’t me!
This also seems to be the topic
that most people in EQ (Elders Quorum) dread when they are assigned to teach
it. Because of this we just get a glossed over lesson that doesn’t really do
anything for the class except remind us how awkward we make this topic.
When did this topic become so
taboo? Or why is it so taboo?
The Law of Chastity, especially
from a single perspective, can seem like a big list of DON’Ts. (Or a better way
to look at it is NOT YET!) But with the DON’T outlook, these things become a
thing of shame. What happens since I didn’t keep the Law of Chastity? What are
others going to think? What will my Bishop think if I tell him?! (Disclaimer:
You will probably never do anything that will shock your bishop. He is there to
help you through the repentance process, but you have to initiate it yourself.
Or it’s better if you initiate this process yourself. A forced confession is
never good.) I haven’t always have had the best relationships with all of my
bishops. Some were much easier to bond with than others. But God knows us and
will give us the bishop we need at that time, whether you agree with the man or
not. He is after all a MAN, trying to do the best he can. It doesn’t change the
fact that God called him. But I digress.
There is a sense of shame
attached with breaking the Law of Chastity. And I mean in any degree. There is
a shame and fear that comes upon the person, this coming from the adversary,
and they want to hide what they did. They hide it from the parents and from
their bishops. In most cases they also keep it from their peers and keep it
down and quiet.
Some of the bigger issues that
pop up, besides fornication, with the Law of Chastity are pornography and
masturbation. (I will focus more on pornography in this post than masturbation)
These are vulgar words. There is no doubt about that. I forget what it is
called, but there is a word for a word’s pronunciation being as horrible as the
definition. [English majors help me out.] (Another example of this is barf. The
sound that word produces matches its meaning.) But pornography and masturbation
are just such words. Trying to use substitution words for these things can and
will create confusion. Please just call it what it is so we can all be on the
same page. Don’t try using other terms when trying to teach about it. And there
are many other ways to say these things. Pornography and masturbation are
usually coupled together, but don’t have to be. Pornography has been a topic
preached in General Conference for as long as I can remember. And it appears
before then, as I have read back into past General Conferences.
President Gordon B. Hinckley
warned:
“You live in a world of terrible
temptations. Pornography, with its sleazy filth, sweeps over the earth like a
horrible, engulfing tide. It is poison. Do not watch it or read it. It will
destroy you if you do. It will take from you your self-respect. It will rob you
of a sense of the beauties of life. It will tear you down and pull you into a
slough of evil thoughts and possibly of evil actions. Stay away from it. Shun
it as you would a foul disease, for it is just as deadly. Be virtuous in
thought and in deed. God has planted in you, for a purpose, a divine urge which
may be easily subverted to evil and destructive ends.” (in Conference Report,
Oct. 1997, 71–72; or Ensign, Nov. 1997, 51).
It is an evil that has affected more
lives than any of us can know. There have been studies about how early in life
kids are exposed to such material. The fact that such a study could produce
numbers is horrifying. It is a problem that isn’t going to just go away by
itself. It is going to get much worse. But we can safeguard our homes so that
nothing impure enters in. Easier said than done, I know, but it is something
that we need to be prepared for. And this is not just a task for mothers and
wives. While pornography tends to be associated with male users, women have
fallen prey to these kind of addictions. It will take a concerted effort on all
fronts. Both Husband and Wife, Mother and Father should work towards keeping
this from entering their house to protect each other and their children.
There is evidence that
pornography acts like a drug and effects the brain as such. There are movements
and programs like Fight the New Drug and Restoring Minds Consulting LLC. They
are devoted to bringing to light the evils of pornography, the damage it can
have on relationships, and how to repair or avoid it. There is a program called
Sons of Helaman- Eternal Warriors which focuses on how to help youth who have encounter
this and want to break those chains. They also have a book called “Like Dragons
They Did Fight”. Working in Deseret Book I saw many books on this subject. One
such that was often purchased and recommended by bishops was “He Restoreth My
Soul- Understanding and Breaking the Chemical and Spiritual Chains of
Pornography through the Atonement of Jesus Christ” by John Hilton. I am not trying
to push any of these programs or products, but want people to be award that the
resources are out there.
The Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints has also realized the power that this form of media has on
the lives of people. It is one of the many facets of its Addiction Recovery
Program. It is something that is not easy to overcome. The resources and
materials are easy to access. The Church has many meetings in cities all around
the country, or online meetings if in person is too much, and even podcast
versions if the online/ phone ones are too much.
What I hope someday is that people
can be able to speak about these issues without anyone cringing. Yes they are
unsavory, but they are real. People deal with them. More people than you think.
I am not asking that we condone it, but that we are understanding and show an
increase of love for the person. We are all sinners and trying to become
perfect in Christ. We also all fall short. Be kind to one another. Just because
one man’s sins are different than yours doesn’t give you the right to cast stones.
Avoiding a subject never solved anything. I know that these subjects have
caused great pains to many people, so discretion is important. But need we tip
toe around these topics forever?
These are just some of my
opinions on this subject, which there are many, but I’ll save those for other
posts.
God Bless! Until Next Time!
Excellent!
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